Tuesday, May 02, 2006

A Day Without Undocumented Mexican Immigrant Workers:

We here at the Stu Smalley Show and Airhead America Radio support the undocumented migrant workers protest/march "A Day Without Immigrants (Mexicans)" on May 1.
Any reason to protest Bush and America is a good reason to protest.
All of our illegal workers employed by Airhead America were given the day off with pay. We gave the guy who brings us breakfast off, the guy who brings us lunch off, the guy who takes out the trash off, the woman who cleans the bathrooms off, the guy that smashes the boxes and shreds the hate mail off, the woman who waxes the floors off, the guy that rolls up the cables and power cords off, and of course the guy that will do the stuff no one else will do at a price no one else would consider.
I gave my housekeeper the day off, my gardener the day off, the nanny the day off, the boy that washes my cars the day off, the spanish tutor for my Irish Setter the day off, the guy that keeps my boat polished the day off, the girl that does my hair every day... the day off.
It only cost us $10 total but...
You know what?
I realized that...with everyone gone, ...I have no friends.

We need these cheap illegal workers to do the lousy jobs no one else will do. (Like be my friend)
American friends cost a lot more than illegal Mexican friends and they refuse to do stuff.
Besides, Stuart Smalley is not going to be caught dead mowing his own lawn. The newspapers will say that I must be broke and that Airhead America must be losing money and that my skits on SNL really weren't very funny and they won't like me in Hollywood any more.... and I just want to be liked.
Protesters write the laws in US.
The protest march is the actual way we change laws in America. All people who break any law should plan a protest march to change the law. It's the American way isn't it?
No one understands all that whole "get elected to office and vote change" stuff, we liberals know the value of a good "sit-in" or protest. You know you can get on TV and the reporters love you!

Besides, we are all illegal immigrants.
According to my history books, we stole this land from the Indians and the Mexicans in the first place. It is not really ours.
Who is George Bush to say that Mexicans can't live in what was once Mexico?
Thank goodness the leading Democrats like Sen. Joe Byden are speaking out for the rights of people who are here illegally over the rights of those who are legal US citizens.
Have you heard the new latino version of the National Anthem/Star Spangled Banner?
It's catchy! Makes you want a shot of Tequilla and a hotdog with jalepenos.

So lets open all the borders to America.
Mr Bush, Tear down that wall.
All children are welcome of any age, c'mon in.
Maybe the world won't hate us so much.... I just want to be liked. Don't you?

All those Red Stater's out there should stop beating their chest about how great America is long enough to understand that illegal immigrants have voting rights and terrorists have voting rights. We should listen to their opinons. We should let the world vote for our next President.
Why do only Americans get to vote for President? Let every vote count and count every vote.
It's time for change, vote Democrat this fall and get rid of Bush, his buddies and politics as usual.

In the meantime, I want my "undocumented workers" (Mexicans) back so that I can function.
The lawn is a mess, the dishes are piled to the ceiling, all of my clothes are dirty, I am having a bad hair day and the dog can't speak a word of spanish.
Help me, Por Favor?
Because you are liberal enough, you are cheap enough and gosh darn it I think you people like me.
Stu