Picking Cherries for my Apple Pie
The really cool part of my "job" is that I get to cherrypick information while overlooking facts every single day to prove my point that Bush cherrypicked information to go to war. That is what makes him a liar and me a journalist. I love this country, apple pie and hotdogs.
I was actually for the war, everyone knows that. I believed Colin Powell.
But, getting Bush "*un-selected" is more important than the truth.
I love this country and that's why I point out every day just how corrupt and evil it (Bush) is.
*After all of the recounts by newspapers and universites, we all know that Bush actually won the election in 2000. The only way Gore could have won was to count votes (undervotes) in Florida that no one could possibly count.
But, in spite of that I still claim that Gore won the election in 2000 (if you count the undervotes as gore votes) and even though it sounds totally insane, the funny part is that some people still believe it.
I love this country.
Classic cherrypicking at it's best, if I do say so myself.
In my new book "More Lies Without Jokes" I detail exactly how I manipulate news and facts every day to confuse people and generate support for the Democrat party.
Hey, since Democrats cannot discuss issues that Americans don't agree with them on, all that is left is to smear the President on a daily basis. That is what I do best.
Of course I throw in a few classic jokes along the way like these lap slappers.
"Bush recently used wiretaps without a court order and listened to 30 known al Quada members calls to the U.S.
"So, Bush is a criminal and should be impeached for it."
and this one...
"Those al Quada people have a right to call anyone they want without the U.S. government listening".
or my favorite,
"If Bill Clinton would have still been President, he would have listened in on call's before September 11, 2001, and he would have prevented the attacks from happening and been our hero instead of a criminal".
Because I am looney enough, liberal enough and gosh darn it, I love this country!
Visiting the illegal/immoral battle field to support the troops:
I also get to go over and perform for the U.S. troops in Iraq and Afganistan which is a bit strange considering how much I talk about them torturing people and killing innocent women and children and fighting an illegal and immoral war behind their backs and then claim I support them when I am in front of them.
Al Quada has asked me to come and entertain their troops and I told them, "gosh darnit" all they have to do is listen to my radio show or buy my books!
I love this country, apple pie, hotdogs and 4th of July.